About My Jewelry
Since I wash little, growing up in Estonia, I have feared losing connection to my loved ones, yet my adventurous heart took me far from my family. America has been my second home since 1997. We wrote letters to each other until e-mail took over yet my grandmother and I sent handwritten letters until 2012 when she passed away on Christmas day. She was my second mother. I miss her letters and the little things she skillfully sneaked in the small envelope. A small cross or broken off flower bead from her mother's old jewelry. It was that year when I felt her spirit telling me to make jewelry to ease my grief. Losing somebody who understood me so deep awoke in me memory of early losses that I never grieved. Also it awoke in me the realization that I had lost my own connection to my own real self because I was scared to feel. In fact I built my whole life around the idea of avoiding these abandonment feelings.
I have learned since then that when someone experiences loss in early years it will scar their heart to become closed. I was closed. My soul was closed out but the loss of my grandmother was so painful, that the pain broke my heart wide open. As if somebody threw a big vase on the floor shattering it into a million pieces, yet through the cracks the light can shine in. I remembered that feeling of wholeness from a long time ago. The feeling of connection with my own soul. It was as if I died and realized that I was so much more than my fears of abandonment. I realized that I was loved even when my father abandoned me when I was a baby. I remembered that what I had forgotten. That is the reason I keep doing my art. I want to remember who I am. I still get so lost and disconnected at times and as hard as I try to get back I seem to have forgotten the way back. I call my jewelry as bread crumbs that Hansel and Gretel left behind so they could remember their way back home.
Enjoy! Thank You
Enjoy! Thank You